50 Things About Me

1. I don’t believe in star signs but it’s quite scary how true a Gemini I am. I definitely have 2 personalities which makes me quite tricky to get to know. Sometimes I don’t even know who’s in charge...

2. I am my mother’s double. Scariest thought in the world, but when I started buying toilet paper and soap to match my bathroom I had to succumb to the truth that I am my mom. It’s starting to grow on me.

3. I’m the second tallest person in my family. And I’m only 1.64m.

4. I don’t own a set of earlobes. This, so I’ve come to learn, is attributed to a dwarfism gene. On top of that, my ears were pierced twice and the 2 holes are now joined to form one huge hole. I can’t wear stud earrings – the fall straight through... Bleak.

5. My sister really is the smallest person in my entire extended family. She’s my best friend. I can make her laugh whenever I think she needs to. I miss her dearly.

6. My brother can catch a ball or two. He’s the funniest guy I know. He can make me laugh until I literally pee a little. I hate that people think he’s arrogant. I hate that the public owns him. I hate that he’s never around. I hate that we aren’t close anymore because of what he does. I hate that I can’t tell him how much I love him.

7. My parents are the 2 most amazing people in the world. I couldn’t have asked for a better childhood. If my marriage one day is half as solid as theirs, I’ll be the luckiest person alive.

8. I have a dog named “Cricket”. She is a jack russell, maltese cross. She fitted into the palm of my hand when I found her. She is the most obedient, lovable dog I’ve ever had. She likes to eat golf balls.

9. I have an addiction to tomato sauce. My mom was never particularly “talented” in the kitchen, so my brother and I drowned everything in tomato sauce. We grew up on hotdogs and French toast.

10. Hotdogs are my favourite food. I think this may be because it is the only food that you can drown in tomato sauce and remain socially acceptable!

11. I hate olives. I hate the way they smell and look. I don’t even like talking to people who are eating olives. Olive-eaters scare me.

12. I was a maths teacher for a year and a half. Every day was the worst day of my life. I used to sit and stare at them working and pretend I was a huge giant with an equally big hammer waiting for them to pop their heads up so I could smash them back down. I don’t think I’ll ever teach again.

13. I love computers. Friends say I’m a geek, but I don’t care. I got goose bumps the other day when I saw the new Apple MacBook Air advert come on TV. I want it more than I’ve ever wanted anything, ever.

14. I go through my mobile phone contacts every now and then and edit all the names to make sure that their name and surname both start with capital letters. The number must have a + in front of it too...

15. Cleaning becomes an obsession when I’m drunk or angry. It’s not something I care about when I’m happy and sober! A messy room is a clear indication that I’m content.

16. I brush my teeth in the shower. Someone once told me that if you brush your teeth in the shower they feel a hundred times cleaner. I thought it was a load of rubbish until I tried it! Wow. It’s really weird – in a good way!

17. I finish at least one Sudoku puzzle every day. I keep a Sudoku book in the toilet. I’ve recently lost the pen...

18. I love Sundays at home in London. My housemates and I buy hotdogs and we sit around vegging on our laptops, often abusing each other online with cut and pasted “yo mamma” jokes.

19. I hate washing my clothes. I have to, obviously, but I hate it with a passion. I never remember to take my wet washing out the machine and inevitably end up having to re-wash it. I hate hanging wet washing up and I hate taking it off the washing line to fold it and pack it away. It’s the worst job in the whole world.

20. Fake nails IRK me. They always come off in the most inappropriate places.

21. I love watching people on the tube when they are flicking through their newspapers. It’s incredible how many facial changes a person goes through in one newspaper.

22. I wish I recycled more. I get mad at people that don’t but I don’t do it myself. I hate being a hypocrite.

23. I’ve been in love once. I remember how it feels to believe you can’t live without someone. I still miss him... I know the butterflies will come back to me when it’s right. I’ll wait forever for that feeling again.

24. I feel bad to unfacebook someone. Even if i never chat to them, I still don’t want to be THAT person.

25. I believe that we are karma. When we seek out revenge on someone, that is in fact THEIR karma coming back to bite them. I don’t feel bad about being someone’s karma. You are only someone’s karma if you succeed in the revenge-seeking process. If not, don’t worry, someone else will.

26. I believe in God. I believe in Jesus. I believe the whole bible – word for word. The big man and I have loads to sort out though. There are a few things I have to explain...

27. I have the most amazing job in the world. I love going to work. Everyone should work in job they love. The world would be an amazing place.

28. I’m super-competitive. There is nothing I can’t turn into a competition. I don’t play games for fun. I play to win. I’m not a good loser. I’m the one making the ref cry.

29. I got into a habit of saying “flowers” instead of “f*ck”. Although the latter sneaks its way into my conversation more frequently than I’d like these days.

30. I’ve come to discover that there a few feelings in this world that are better than hitting a golf ball properly.

31. I’m a super-affectionate person. Public displays of affection are my way of shouting out to everyone how much I love the person I’m with. I don’t trust people who can’t be affectionate in public.

32. Bovril and syrup on toast is the shiznit. It’s an odd tasting combination, but trust me – it’s amazing.

33. I can’t sleep without showering at night. I love the feeling of getting into bed after a hot shower. If you have done it once, you won’t ever turn back.

34. I’m an asshole magnet. I think I think about this too much and in turn, it’s what the universe returns to me. I’m attracted to bad boys. Every boyfriend I’ve ever had has loved his friends more than me.

35. I’m addicted to PS2. I have clocked too many games that I care to mention. A mate of mine has just bought a PS3. I am more jealous of him right now than he will ever know. He bought it in front of me too. I wasn’t impressed.

36. I’m super-compulsive when it comes to buying things. Specifically gadgets. LED lights, buttons and touch screens turn me on. I have to force myself to stay off the same floor as the iPOD shop when I go to the mall. The last time I was in there, I bought the new 8GB Nano which left me with less than £50 for the rest of the month. (Possibly the same month number 32 surfaced.)

37. I have at least 20 friends I could phone at 2am if in trouble. Most are boys and they are all like big brothers to me.

38. “45 million” is my favourite number. You may notice how frequently I refer to it.

39. I can quote nearly every line of every episode of Friends. I’d love to have dinner with the script writers. They must be legends.

40. I love Horror movies. I can never find anyone to watch them with me and I can’t bring myself to watch them on my own. I think my soul mate will love Horrors.

41. I’ve had skin cancer. It was Melanoma – the worst kind. I had a tumour removed in 2003 on the inner canthus of my left eye. I had to have a skin graft on the top of my head. Everyone calls it my “button” now. I push it every now and then to see if anything will happen.

42. I keep a box of Anadins under my monitor at work. I get a headache nearly every day at 11am.

43. I can’t go to sleep without my Labello and bottle of water.

44. Restaurant chefs must hate me. I can’t eat pasta without tomato sauce and I like rubbery calamari.

45. If I’m at a restaurant, eating with my fingers is not an option – I don’t care what it is.

46. I love Boney M. Their music makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I associate them with happy times with my family.

47. My favourite book is Eminem’s autobiography called “Whatever You Say I Am”. He is a lyrical genius. My favourite Eminem song is “Hailie’s Song”. Very few songs get under my skin the way that one does.

48. I believe Magic Mushrooms should be legalised. It’s like going on a month-long holiday on the most beautiful island imaginable. I think everyone should experience the world on mushrooms at least once before they die. Everything comes alive. It’s one of the most grounding experiences you could ever have.

49. I can’t taste the difference between margarine and butter, skim milk and full-fat, coke and diet coke or sugar and sugar tablets.

50. My favourite quote: “Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions." Albert Einstein